How to Increase Self Confidence    by Chet Rowland

There are many advantages of having high self confidence: you can face new challenges with comfort, find it easier to be yourself in social situations, you enjoy your social life much more, and simply have a greater enjoyment of life.

Self confidence is something you gain, not something you are born with. Self confidence is being comfortable with yourself in any surrounding - whether it is talking to the attractive woman at the bar, giving a report to your boss at a meeting, or simply talking to your friends about the game on Sunday. Here are a few ways that you can make a conscious effort to improve your self confidence.

Don't give up because of past failures. Just because you have failed in the past doesn't mean that you will fail in the future. Forget about failures in the past - they have nothing to do with the present or future.

Accept failures. If you don't accept failure, then failing in even the smallest thing can shatter your self confidence. Take risks and learn how to fall. When you do fall, pick yourself back up and figure out why you failed and learn from it. Avoid making the same mistakes. The important thing is not to quit, but to keep going.

Don't put yourself down. If you hear your own voice nagging you, it will paralyze you. Don't make condescending statements about yourself - in the long run, it is this sort of thing that can really damage your self image. It may be difficult at first, but the result on your level of self confidence is huge.

Value your skills. Dwell on your strengths, not your weaknesses. Do things that you are or were good at. If you gave something up because of lack of time, make some time for these activities, and it will help your self confidence grow.

Recognize accomplishments of all sizes. Keep a record of your accomplishments so when you feel you are inadequate or think you cannot do anything, you have instant proof of the things you have done and excelled at.

Surround yourself with good people. Socialize with people who are positive, supportive, and respectful. Avoid negative people who are overly critical of you. These people make you focus on your shortcomings instead of focusing on your strengths, which can be the one of the most damaging things of all.

Learn something new. Don't focus only on work and your problems; instead turn your attention to new interests and tasks. You will learn that you are capable of many things. This will boost self confidence in your abilities and keep your mind happily occupied.

Don't care what others think. People are really quick to tell you how to live your life and most of it comes from their own shortcomings in life. Don't let the shortcomings of others affect your life negatively. No one but you knows your interests and goals in life. Live life the way that you want to.

Reward yourself when you succeed. Using self praise is a self confidence booster that combats negativism. Instead of allowing yourself to get caught up by negative thoughts from either yourself or others, think of something positive about yourself, such as "I did good at the meeting yesterday" or "I am good at...". These are referred to as affirmations.

As you can see, there are many things you can do on a daily basis to boost your self confidence. Have a positive attitude, recognize your achievements, and respect yourself. When you work to build your self confidence, you are making an investment in yourself and the quality of your life.

About the Author

Chet Rowland is the author of several courses and dvds on online dating for men. For more information and a free course on meeting women visit Chet's Dating System.