Make Your Family Reunion A Memorable and Meaningful One   by Mark Angelo Askew

The family reunion is a time to celebrate union and show appreciation to elders and acknowlege princples that have kept the family together. Though most family members deeply appreciate the happy gathering some attendees can completely miss the point of coming together for a family reunion. How can you address this?

Granted it should be a time to interact, celebrate family and have fun. But the primary objective of a family reunion is not to have a party or make a showy display of ones livelihood or arouse the envy of others. Sadly, resisting the urge to show off a bit is difficult for some especially if they once suffered ridicule for not having much. Suddenly family members are going all out to say "Give me some of that attention you gave cousin Alba last year".

And no wonder, family's tends to reward and praise those who have more. Those who have earned another degree, a new home, a new car, a better job, etc.. The problems surface when the praise is always directed to the same group of family members year after year. Those who do not appear to be achievers are often overlooked. Soon competition ensues. Why not put forth deliberate effort to change your criteria for awarding congratulations from time to time?

Reunions With Purpose And Meaning
The family reunion is a time to pay ones respects to all family members. It's a time to congratulate families for staying and sticking together. To allow family members to showcase thier hobbies, interests and talents. To honor those with long years of marriage. To support those battling illness and giving loving attention to children. It's a time to consider families that have lost loved ones or is contending with illness. It's a time to come together and orchestrate honor and support for aging elders who decisions, dreams and responsibility made our very existence possible.

Orchestrating Inspiring Family Reunion Activities
The above issues illustrate why it's so important to have carefully orchestrated activities that don't just keep folks busy but most importantly help family members focus on up building family principles, see areas where a need can be met and show the next generation how to cope and deal with their own share of challenges while helping others to survive and thrive. Each attendee needs to realize that the group is depending on him or her to put forth extra effort to make the reunion a meaningful source of strength and refreshment.

It is also important to build in our young ones a sense of belonging. Activities that allow each member to chip in and contribute to the success of the event help to solidify the union. So what should you do knowing that folks may fail to uphold and respect the reunion? Set a unifying mission in motion.

Form a Family Reunion Committee At the first meeting write and read a family reunion mission statement that encourages appreciation, respect, unity and love. Quote what elders past and present would say to the group were they present. Better yet ask an elder who is known for his or her practical wisdom and good sense to speak on the subject. Show examples of how family members are putting learned principles of unity, peace and support into practice.
1. Remind them by your example.

2. Express important mature sentiments in the reunion program itself.

3. "Remember When" Skits can really help to get the word out.

4. Poems can get the message in the head and touch the heart.

5. Set the thoughts of the mission statement to music.

Use Fimark's Family Reunion Planner to organize constructive and productive family reunion committee meetings. Their are certain poets whose sentiments regarding humility, acquiring self-worth and controlling the power of riches that speak volumes in just a few well chosen words. Maya Angelou comes to mind. Take a look at her life past and present, career and works. You're sure to find something worthy of repeating.

Give A Little Love
Another important thought. - Some families have a challenge with family members who tend to compete, compare and insult. Why does this happen? The reasons can be numerous and complex. Yet it often has to do with unfulfilled individual needs. In most cases someone needed more mothering, more expressions of warm affection without conditions or strings attached. Unconditional love is hard to find. Folks are often made to feel that they have to perform a certain way to be accepted and praised. The outcome is an attempt to earn or even steal attention by comparison or competition. But even then attention is not always what's really needed. It's something beyond that. It's finding ones identity beyond achievements and the accumulation of stuff. Simply put it is the experience of unconditional approval just because...with no strings attached. When family members take time to express appreciation based on unconditional terms folks tend to mellow, jell and enjoy themselves.

Controlling Undesireable Incidents
Do a few relatives tend to get out of hand? How do you control undesireable incidents? Liquor can do much to raise a raucous. When tempers flair you can be sure that somebody had a bit much to drink. Some choose not to serve liquor at family reunion event. More often than not when drinking is not the problem there simply needs to be an application of understanding and "forgiveness". The ability not only to "let go" but to humbly accept the fact that everyone has a story, and not always such a good one. That said it's important the all recognize that even those who seem to have it all may be under extreme pressure to always be the one to deliver. Still those with physical or financial limitations need to be supported while not failing to leave their dignity in tact.

These lessons can be taught one on one so that by the time the family comes together for one big reunion many of them have made the needed internal adjustments.

About the Author

Mark Angelo Askew is founder of Fimark's Award Winning Family Reunion Planner Organizer found at http://family-reunion-planner.fimark.net, a site dedicated to the rewarding and enriching task of time and cost saving family reunion planning.

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