Understanding the Meaning of Friendship for Children   by Jennifer Burns

During different age periods, the role and understating of friendship differs greatly as children mature and become more and more involved into the process of social interaction. Children begin to use the word "friend" at 3-5 years and are able to differentiate old and new friends. From this age, "they also are separating those who are included from those who are excluded. Consequently, the boundaries drawn through social interaction continuously shift by denoting new friends and demoting others".

Rawlins names the age period between 6 to 9 years old the phrase of "Activity and Opportunity". During this period, children choose their friends based on age and sex similarities, social class and degree of physical maturity. Following Youniss, during this period social relations between children can be characterized as "symmetrical reciprocity". The content of children's pretend play is also relevant here. Girls' preŽtence tends to involve more cooperative role-taking. They say things like, "I'll be the mommy, you be the child," and they show more reciprocity. "When children develop relationships with their peers, they are ordinarily marked by reciprocity and egalitarian expectations". It is as if, within the pretence, they are making space for another person, sensitively adjusting their behavior to accommodate the other person.

Girls also tend to ensure that the other perŽson understands where the imaginative pursuit is leading. In contrast, boys show more solitary pretence in friendship. But the aim of the pretence is to eliminate the other person, the deadly enemy, not to worry about his feelings. Sociologists underlines that friendship is treated by children of this age as a practical matter only. It means that "one does activities or plays with one's friend when it is convenient, and these interactions are appraised first and foremost as opportunities to enjoy or benefit oneself". This facts were proved by sociological researches which found that friendships in first grade is stable and children's social relations and interactions show "reciprocal helping, sharing, ego reinforcement, loyalty, intimacy, and so forth".

The next age group (9-10 years old) contrasts greatly with the previous one. There is a great shift in attitudes towards friendship, personal traits and motivation differences. In this way children are showing sensitivity to how the other person will feel if they are being included or excluded, being controlled or free, being domŽinated or treated as an equal. During this age, friendship is characterized as "self-reflective role-taking".

About the Author

Jennifer Burns is a professional freelance academic writer at Custom-Writing.org, custom writing company. Jennifer specializes in MLA dissertation writing.

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