Advice: Family Relationships that are becoming dead, Improve by jumping into their head!   by Shevach Pepper

Do you want to hear some good advice: Family relationships that are strained are saved by getting into their world.

Do you like to get up before dawn and to be tired, aching, and hungry all day? If you do like it, then find a hiking path and go on it with your children. I personally don't like it. I didn't like it when I was young and now that I'm almost fifty one, I surely don't like it. But my teenage children do, so listen what happened.

Three autumns ago (August '04), right after one of my children started a new high-school, things were tense between us. He was nervous of the new move, I was nervous of the new move and he felt my worry. This was in reality a no confidence vote in him which doesn't create a great relationship. He avoided me, was quiet around me, and wasn't too helpful in the house. My wife reminded me that he loves to hike so she suggested that one weekend I take him on nice long one day hike to see if this will help matters.

Like I said before, I don't know why people like to strain themselves and get tired but I listened to her and did something that HE likes and something that makes HIM feel good.

It was like magic! In the beginning of the trail things were like usual; quiet and tense. However when we started to walk through the forest he (and even me) started to joke and to hum songs together. When all of a sudden this huge pond appeared in front of us (they didn't tell about this before I started) and we had to swim across he laughed and almost giggled which was something that he didn't do in a long time. (In spite of my bruises and scrapes I also laughed). By the time we got home he spoke a little of his fears of the new school and other feelings that he had about the school. The change was unbelievable.

The bottom line and my advice : family relationships that are strained are saved by putting yourself into THEIR world and doing what THEY like to do. When you do this, they feel comfortable and are able to talk and connect to you more freely. It is surely worth the few (?) aches and pains that you endure!

About the Author

Shevach Pepper is the happy father of 12 children. Click to get a free copy of his helpful ebook Hello, I'm _____ An inventory to make, preserve, and enhance relationships. To learn more about him; visit Shevach's biography .

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